Looking for a few ways to celebrate your child? Here are three ways to say a good job.
Sometimes good job rolls off my tongue faster than I can blink. It is a saying that has been used for decades. Good job certainly has its place. But here are three powerful ways to say, a good job that is more worthwhile.
What if we can take “good job” and give it a more meaningful context for our child to grow from?
Picture this. Your child comes home from school and unpacks his bag. Good job, you casually say.
Did your child hear you? Probably. But they may be confused about what they did that called for the praise. Because of this, you may be barely heard or misunderstood.
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Being specific with praise helps build patterns.
Rather than saying, good job, we can use specific feedback to help our child better understand how to improve or what to continue. Detailed feedback helps children feel acknowledged and encouraged.
Remember, children will take any attention they can receive. (even if it is negative) So let’s give them something to feel proud about that’s motivating!
I like to use these three phrases rather than saying, good job, and this post will help us understand when and how to use each.
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Three other ways to say a good job
I picked these three alternative ways to say a good job to your child because they are reoccurring situations that happen in your home with kids. Rather than redirecting and correcting, let’s catch them doing a good job using specific feedback.
- Completing tasks: I bet that feels good.
- Something they are proud of: I wonder how you did that. Can you tell me more?
- Helps around the house: I notice you…
Good job after a child completes a challenging task
A simple phrase after a child completes a challenging task is, I bet that feels good.
Helping a child recognize the feeling of accomplishment after working through something challenging helps them take on future jobs.
Think about a time you worked hard
Do you remember when you took on a demanding task and (finally) got to the endpoint?
I remember the quad stroller delivered to our house in what felt like 307 pieces. I dove in and could not figure out how to attach the brakes midway. Ugh. I was SO frustrated.
After a few YouTubes (not sure I would have done it without the kind man that created the video), I had finally figured it out! And that feels good.
When I take on new tasks, I think about that feeling, which helps me persevere.
What this looks like for children doing a challenging task
Our children aren’t putting together a stroller, but they take on jobs that feel just as draining, such as cleaning up puzzle pieces or toys on the floor.
When my child had to put the puzzle away, he too was dragging his heels, feeling overwhelmed. However, we both knew he was capable.
After a few redirects, he finally finished.
How did he get the cleanup complete? We used if and then statements to move him along. For example, after you clean up your puzzle, we can head to the kitchen for a snack.
When he finished, he felt good about his completed job.
Let’s think about that time you did a good job.
Now, I can remind him when he looks at tasks that feel impossible. “Remember that time you packed up the entire puzzle by yourself? That felt good, didn’t it? I wonder if this job will feel the same?”.
Putting the emotion and feeling of satisfaction back into his memory will help him take on future tasks – and, even better, will give him the confidence to do so when I am not around.
Good job after a child shows you something they are proud of
A simple phrase after a child completes something they are proud of is, I wonder how you did that? Can you tell me more?
Children like to show us ev.ery.thing. I know it can be exhausting.
However, children need to know they have someone on their side willing to hear about their artwork or how the race car can zoom down the ramp.
Listening to children is laying emotional and social pathways. This relationship helps children thrive and continue learning.
As a parent of three boys, I know I do not have time to acknowledge every request.
Instead, I try to dedicate ten minutes daily to each child to learn more about their feelings and actions.
Sometimes this is before bedtime when we each pick three things to chat about. Other times it may be as my five-year-old brings over his artwork made from scraps of paper.
You may remind your child about something that happened during the day and ask for more. I may say, “Your artwork was pretty cool today. I wonder how you cut those squares. Can you tell me more?”.
Again, this acknowledges something my child finds essential, leading to more connection.
Family games are another excellent way to bond and practice winning and losing. Check out these 13 board games for kids.
I have learned from expert Sally Haughey that when an adult responds to a child with attention and appreciation, new neurons and connections are built in the brain.
A child needs to be seen, heard, and valued to thrive. Sally reminds me that someone has to be the number one fan cheering a child on. In technical terms, this is called serve and return.
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Good job after a child helps around the house
A simple phrase after a child helps around the house or completes a self-help skill is, I notice you…put the blue cars on the blue paper, got dressed all by yourself today, made your bowl of cereal.
Remember, saying “good job” sometimes rolls off the tongue faster than we can blink. And that’s okay too. We’re not robots.
But when we remember, we can add a little more detail to a good job and help it become more intentional. This is especially helpful when we say yes to toddlers and preschoolers helping with simple tasks such as mixing ingredients and unloading the dishwasher.
I like to try and introduce learning concepts when I notice them help my child become more familiar with terms and ideas that elementary kids will revisit down the road.
When we are specific, our child knows what is being encouraged. This feedback helps reinforce the action noted.
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Giving praise can go beyond saying a good job.
- Completing tasks: I bet that feels good.
- Something they are proud of: I wonder how you did that. Can you tell me more?
- Helps around the house: I notice you…
Which new phrase feels best for you and your family?